[Verse 1]
I told my wife, Mindy, “I don’t know why,
Every time we talk it ends in a sigh.
She says, “Hal, you’re hot air, head to toe,
Why can’t you speak plain English, you know?’”

[Verse 2]
She said, “Where were you from six to one?|
Don’t give me blabber, this ain’t fun!”
I said, “Pop, slop, bitter drop,
Weasel, Seezel, bunker stop.
Hop, flop, dingle bop,
Milkin’ bilkin’ monkey slop—hip hop!”

[Chorus]
Pop, slop, bitter drop, oh my,
Weasel, Seezel, don’t ask why.
Hop, flop, dingle bop, I plead,
Why can’t my Mindy understand me?

[Verse 3]
She said, “What? You simpleton fool,
Those words don’t follow any rule!”
I said, “Potato pudding, rip-snortin’ stew,
Blunder blinkin’ talkin’ to you!
From six till one, I’ll say it straight,
I was pop-slop-droppin’ out real late!”

[Verse 4]
She gave me a look like thunder and rain,
I braced myself hard for some verbal pain.
I said, “It’s plain English, can’t you see?
You think I’m dumb—what about thee?”
She threw her shoe right at my head,
So I ran to the shed and found my bed.